The Secret World of a Phlegmatic

By Elicipha Njuguna

We often describe the Phlegmatic personality as the calm in the storm. We are the mediators, the easy-going friends, and the masters of diplomacy. But behind that serene exterior lies a secret world—one often governed by a paralyzing fear of inadequacy and a deep-seated avoidance of the very battles we were born to fight.

The Moses Complex: When Humility is Actually Fear

When we look at the life of Moses, we see the typical Phlegmatic. When God called him at the burning bush, Moses didn’t respond with “Here am I, send me.” Instead, he listed his inadequacies one by one. “Who am I?” “What if they don’t believe me?” “I am slow of speech and tongue.” His final plea was almost painful to read: “Please send someone else.”

On the surface, it looked like humility. In reality, it was a refusal to step into his own skin.

God listened, but only partially.

The consequence was significant:

  • The Shared Mantle: Because Moses resisted, God appointed Aaron to speak for him.
  • The Forfeited Legacy: Moses was the initial Levite chosen to lead, but by insisting on a spokesperson, he shifted a portion of his calling to Aaron.
  • The Missing Descendants: While Aaron’s lineage became the eternal priesthood of Israel, Moses’ descendants largely fade into the background of the biblical narrative.

By retreating into his inadequacy, Moses may have inadvertently signed away a legacy that was meant for his bloodline alone.

The Shadow Side of Peace-Loving

As a Phlegmatic myself, I spent years hiding behind this same mask. In primary and secondary school, I turned down leadership roles, convinced I wasn’t bold enough or loud enough. I thought I was being modest.

But in 2025, during a period of deep reflection on Moses’ story, the truth hit me with such force that I found myself in tears. I realized that my avoidance wasn’t just affecting me, it was hurting others.

The Phlegmatic Paradox: We avoid conflict to keep the peace, but our silence often creates a vacuum of leadership that leaves others unprotected or confused.

Our passive-aggressiveness and our tendency to shut down rather than speak up can be just as damaging as a hot-tempered outburst. I found myself repenting for the people I have hurt simply because I was too afraid to engage in a necessary battle.

What Legacy Are We Forfeiting?

The story of Moses is a wake-up call for every quiet soul. Every time we say “I can’t” because we feel inadequate, we aren’t just protecting ourselves from failure; we are potentially forfeiting a territory God intended for us to occupy.

Some battles must be fought. Some words must be spoken, even if our voices shake. We cannot allow our temperament to become a tomb for our potential.

Reflection Question

Who is the “Aaron” in your life? What might your life look like if you stopped asking for an “Aaron” and started trusting that your “stutter” is enough for the task at hand?

Responses

  1. Sonnie Avatar

    This has got me thinking seeing myself in this article and having to introspect on what to change and become a better person.

    lovely article well articulated!!!

    Like

  2. nyambu Avatar

    Wooow I never saw this character in this angle and yes am a phlegm and need to start speaking out .

    love every detail in this article 👌

    Like

  3. Faith Nkatha Gitonga Avatar

    Beautiful piece and such powerful truth laced all over it.

    Like

  4. Susan K. Avatar

    Beautiful piece, worth the read! Thanks Elicipha ❤️.

    Like

  5. Juliet Wambugu Avatar

    Very insightful piece, love Moses’ analogy.

    Like

  6. Cess Avatar

    Fantastic article well articulated. Well done. This got me thinking about my personality with both traits of phlegm’s and Cholerics here and there… mmmmmhhh.

    Like

    1. Elicipha Njuguna Avatar

      Wow, thanks and nice to know Cess!

      Like

  7. salim Avatar

    what of us who deligate roles alot till left with nothing to do. Our juniors take charge leaving us irrelevant! ?

    Like

    1. Elicipha Njuguna Avatar

      I guess it is okay to delegate from a place of empowering and not overwhelming the junior!

      Like

  8. Brightone Lusite Avatar

    Very powerful message, we need to say ‘yes we can’ even when we think we can’t, we shouldn’t be disqualifying ourselves.

    Like

    1. Elicipha Njuguna Avatar

      Indeed, the winning mantra by Obama!

      Like

      1. Amy Avatar

        A very insightful piece with biblical analogy.

        May God grant us the courage and wisdom to take up our God given assignments

        Like

      2. Elicipha Njuguna Avatar

        Indeed and Amen, Emmy!

        Like

  9. emmy.onzere Avatar

    A great piece with biblical reference.
    May God grant us courage and wisdom to take up our God given responsibilities

    Like

  10. Hellen Avatar

    Wueh, wacha nitafakari hayo. Thanks for bring it to perspective.

    Like

    1. Elicipha Njuguna Avatar

      I see you, birds of a feather…!

      Like

  11. maingimwendwa Avatar

    ‘Some words must be spoken, even if our voices shake’. This is very powerful.

    Like

    1. Elicipha Njuguna Avatar

      Thank you for your feedback, Robert.

      Like

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